When you are in love or plan to get married, it’s easy to get swept up in wedding plans, dreamy honeymoons, and weekend getaways. But, one essential thing that often gets left out in those early conversations is ‘money’. 

I totally understand that finances are not the most romantic discussion you would want to have with your partner. Moreover, the mindset around money we are brought up with in India also acts as a hindrance to this discussion. But, as an educated person, you should understand that this is one of the smartest discussions you can have with someone with whom you are planning to live your life. 

Having a financial discussion with your partner (even at the would-be stage) is an important thing to do. And, no, it doesn’t mean you value money over relationships; it simply means you care about building a future, together, that’s secure in every way.

Why Money Conversations Matter in Relationships?

In India, many couples shy away from having early conversations about money. In several families, financial decisions are still predominantly made by the man, especially if he’s the sole earner. 

Even when both partners are earning, there’s often a lack of financial clarity. They may be managing their finances separately or simply not be aligned in their approach. In many cases, partners aren’t even aware of each other’s financial goals.

But let me tell you an ironic fact: studies show that couples argue about money an average of 58 times a year. That’s more than once a week!

As a financial planner who speaks to couples about their finances every day, I find this disheartening. Because in most cases, the problem isn’t about how much money they have, it’s always about not being on the same page.

That’s why money conversations matter: not to count the coins, but to create clarity, connection, and shared direction.

The Problem: Together in Life, But Not on the Same Financial Page

One of the core challenges couples face is navigating their different money mindsets. Often, one is a spender while the other is a saver. Initially, we think that these are trivial issues and that everyone can live the way they want, but often these differences lead to friction. 

Many couples don’t have clearly defined financial goals, and joint planning for emergencies or big-ticket milestones like a home or a child’s education. 

Then there’s the fear of losing financial independence, which keeps many from opening up or combining finances. These couples are more like housemates living together but leading separate lives. 

While having an independent life is not wrong but not being on the same financial page can hamper future financial life as a family. 

Here, you may want to ask, “Are couples who manage money together actually happier?”. The answer to which is absolutely yes, if it’s done with honest communication and mutual flexibility.

Studies show that couples who manage their finances jointly tend to be more aligned in their decisions and report greater satisfaction in their relationship.

The Solution: Plan as a Team, Not as Opponents

Before we dive into the practical tips of planning your finances as a team, let me clear one common misconception:

Managing money jointly doesn’t mean giving up your independence or individual identity.

I’m a firm believer in individual identity, especially for women, and I strongly advocate that every woman should have full control over her finances. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be a team player.

We can think of it like any great team sport. Tendulkar, Dhoni, and Kohli all played for Team India, but did that stop them from building their own identities or earning individual accolades?

With that in mind, let’s get back to the real conversation: How can couples align their finances without compromising who they are as individuals?

Start with Honest Money Conversations

Begin by putting everything on the table: your income, debts, spending habits, and financial goals. Talk about the money beliefs you picked up in childhood. Were you taught to save obsessively? Or spend without thinking? These early lessons shape how we view money today.

And don’t forget to set practical expectations: Who pays for what? How will the bills be split? What feels fair to both of you?

Pro Tip: The more transparent and honest your money conversation is, the better the foundation of your financial future together will be. 

Set Short, Medium, and Long-Term Goals Together

What do you both want in the near future? A travel fund? Gifting budget for festivals? More weekend outings? What about the mid-term? Maybe it’s buying a home, upgrading your car, or planning for a child.

And then the long haul children’s education, retirement planning, and building wealth.
Don’t delay talking about retirement. It’s not just about the future, it’s about long-term peace of mind.

Pro Tip: Having a financial planner or advisor to help you come on the same page and create a shared goal-oriented plan is truly helpful.  

Create a Joint (But Flexible) Budget

Think of your budget as your team strategy. List shared expenses, rent or EMIs, utilities, groceries, investments, and decide how you’ll contribute. Whether it’s 50-50 or based on income ratios, clarity matters.

And yes, personal spending space is important too. Independence doesn’t have to disappear in partnership.

Pro Tip: A joint bank account for shared expenses helps build transparency and trust.

Plan Insurance and Emergency Funds as a Unit

Get both individual and joint health insurance. And once your child is born, don’t forget to add them to the policy after 90 days of their birth. 

Term insurance is just as crucial. It secures your family’s future if life takes an unexpected turn. Never forget to add proper nomination details. 

Pro Tip: Be very careful for small mistakes like spelling mismatch in your spouse’s and your documents. These small mistakes prove really costly in crucial times.

Invest Together Even If You Think Differently

Maybe one of you loves SIPs and the other is into stocks. That’s okay. You don’t need to match, just balance. Diversifying your investments is key. Pair safer options with calculated risks that reflect both your comfort levels.

When it comes to investment and growth, leave the ‘my money’ mindset and work with the ‘our money’ mindset. You do not need to choose between this and that, you can have both if you understand how to find a logical balance. A certified financial planner can help you navigate this, offering a neutral perspective and expert advice.

Final Thoughts

I am a financial planner, but I’m also a married woman navigating the ups and downs of relationships. And I can say that I truly understand your challenges. There will be disagreements. There will be external opinions from friends, relatives, and influencers telling you what to do with your money. But remember: This is your relationship. Your finances. Your future.

And ladies, please take special note that you need to be equally involved in your financial planning. Husband planning and deciding everything (even with a certified financial planner) is not called ‘couple financial planning’. True financial planning should have the heart and mind of both partners. And this is not just about equality; it is also about security and self-respect.